help pour une dissert en anglais :)

help pour une dissert en anglais :) - Aide aux devoirs - Emploi & Etudes

Marsh Posté le 06-10-2003 à 23:18:18    

Voila j ai un essay a faire sur le sujet : would you be ready to take a year out ? why or why not .j ai fais ceci mais si quelqu un peut me corriger ou me reformuler une ou deux expressions qui donnerait meilleure allure au devoir ca serait sympa :)
 
i believe that taking a gap year is a very important decesion , which can change a life .
that is why we are going to study the advantages and the drawbacks of this experience.
 
In my opinion , i suppose that a gap year is a very educational possibility.
firstly , i would be able to visit a new country and to live with an entire foreign family , who would allow me to discover their farming and traditions. This could be very interesting.
Especially , i believe that i will be aware of the luck i have for now, namely the oportunity to study in such a great school and, like this, i will be able to acquire some degrees and to brush up my english to get a good situation for my future career.
By taking this gap year i will also realize the benefits of the university.
 
However , although this gap year would be very enriching,  it has got, as everything , some disadvantages.
 
In the first place , i am almost sure that i would miss my parents and they would miss  me too , although i believe that i could phone and write them frequently , but is it enough ?
this gap year could also make me lose a year , that i could devote at studing.
lastly i suppose that a year is too long , i would prefer if it could last one or two months , which is enough.
 
in conclusion , i think that i am not ready yet to take a year out , althought it can be very pleasant.
However , if i fail my studies , i am almost sure that i will not hesitate to try this kind of experience.

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Marsh Posté le 06-10-2003 à 23:18:18   

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 01:23:38    

decesion = decision, which can change your life, to live = live (juste live sans "to" ), mettre "I" au lieu de "i" (partout - pas seulement au debut des phrases), oportunity = opportunity, "I believe I will be aware of the luck I have for now" c'est pas anglais - c'est du charabia [:spamafote] - essaye de trouver autre chose pour exprimer ca, I will be able to aquire a degree and brush up (ya pas besoins de "to" avant brush up) my english in order to get a good situation in life (la c'est correct), realize = realise (realize c'est la facon americaine de l'ecrire mais bon c'est correcte aussi), ... as everything ... = ... as with everything ..., In the first place = At first, I am almost sure that I would miss my parents and they would miss me too = I am almost sure I would miss my parents and they would probably miss me too, although I believe that I could phone and write them frequently = although I believe I would be able to call them and write to them often, but is it enough? = but would it be sufficient?, this gap year could also make me lose a year = this gap year could also make me waste a year, that I could devote at studing = that I could be devoting to my studies, lastly = finally, I think that I am not ready yet = I think that I am not yet ready, althought it can be very pleasant = although it could be very pleasant, if I fail my studies = if I failed  my studies (conditionel), I am almost sure that I will not hesitate to try this kind of experience = I am almost sure that I would not hesitate to try out that sort of experience.


Message édité par zealot1337 le 07-10-2003 à 01:39:00

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 01:28:23    

C'est pas tres clair :lol: mais j'ai parcouru le texte et j'ai mis des virgules entre chaques fautes ou chaques phrases mal formulée.
 
T'inquiete pas je suis sur de moi, je suis anglais :D  .. si ton prof dit que c'est faut c'est qu'il ne sait pas de quoi il parle.
 
Sinon c'est pas mal, j'suis plutot impressioné pour un francais de 16 ans  :hello:  :jap:


Message édité par zealot1337 le 07-10-2003 à 01:31:56

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 01:31:37    

zealot1337 a écrit :

C'est pas tres clair :lol: mais j'ai parcouru le texte et j'ai mis des virgules entre chaques fautes ou chaques phrases mal formulée.
 
T'inquiete pas je suis sur de moi, je suis anglais :D  .. si ton prof dit que c'est faux c'est qu'il ne sait pas de quoi il parle.


:o


Message édité par Elikea_ le 07-10-2003 à 01:31:50
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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 01:59:44    


 
C'etait un typo, tu vois le x sur le clavier anglais est juste a coté du t  :lol:  :ange:  :p


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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 07:50:37    

merci bcoup zealot :p

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 11:19:55    

Maxman a écrit :

merci bcoup zealot :p


 
De rien  :hello:


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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 19:23:06    

au fait a la place de I believe I will be aware of the luck I have for now ca marche i will realise of the luck i have for now ?
:p

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 20:23:03    

Nan c'est pas bon :/
 
Especially , I believe that I will realise how lucky I am at the moment by having the opportunity of studying in such a great school.
 
Au fait: les anglais n'aiment pas trop les virgules, c'est typiquement francais ca. Les anglais font pour la plupart du temps de petites phrases courtes plutot que de longues phrases contenant des virgules partout. Mais dans ton devoir ca peu aller :)


Message édité par zealot1337 le 07-10-2003 à 20:25:06

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 20:47:54    

re merci :)
je prends notes des conseils ;p

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 20:47:54   

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Marsh Posté le 07-10-2003 à 20:56:18    

T'inquiete j'aime bien aider :)
 
@+


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