correction expression s'il vous plait

correction expression s'il vous plait - Aide aux devoirs - Emploi & Etudes

Marsh Posté le 27-11-2009 à 22:37:49    

:) Bonjour à tous ! Merci de corriger mes erreurs s’il vous plait  
 
      Debbie laughs at Billy because she certainly thinks that, as he is a boy, he won’t be able to do it. She probably thinks it is about an activity for girls. Certain domains are that way victims of sexual stereotypes. Indeed, they affect especially our way of acting. It is from this point of view we try naturally to conform us to these stereotypes. Socialization as soon as the most young age is often originally of these clichés. For example, we are going more teach a young girl identify herself with her mother (housework…). The same is true for the young boy who compares himself to his father (do-it-yourself…). This education also has an effect on the activities. Football for boys, dance for girls. That’s why Debbie laughs at Billy, since ballet suffers of this stereotype.
      However, and fortunately, it is about clichés, and all people don’t obey this sexs’ separation, witch consist in establishing different social roles for men and for women.
As a result, a boy can absolutely  practises ballet, if he likes it. Tastes are personal, and vary from a person to another. Besides, in all ballets there are masculine roles. It exists even groups composed only by men. For example, Ballets Trockadero of Monte Carlo is a company only masculine witch appropriates with very great talent the classical repertoire. On the other hand, men often have prestigious roles in the performances.
      Women wanted to do what men did at the moment of the increased female participation in the employment, and they were right. Thus, in the thirties, woke up the female consciousness of a place to conquer. They claimed their integration in the job world. Consequently, why do men couldn’t do what women do ?
     In China, they are men who dance in the traditional operas, including female roles.
Can you imagine an art for an only one sex ? It is as if we say women are not able to sculpt (Camille Claudel is a counterexample).    

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Marsh Posté le 27-11-2009 à 22:37:49   

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Marsh Posté le 29-11-2009 à 17:40:27    

bouboux a écrit :

:) Bonjour à tous ! Merci de corriger mes erreurs s’il vous plait  
 
     allez vite fait même s'il faudrait tout réécrire de fond en comble qlq corrections rapides:
 
 
Debbie laughs at Billy while she thought, as a boy, he won’t be able to get through. She might thought it was a typical girls' hobbie. Many stereotypes affect especially our way of life. From this point of view we try naturally to conform us to these stereotypes. Education determine originally these clichés. For instance, girls are well brought up to identify herself with her mother (housework…). The same is true for the young boy who compares himself to his father (do-it-yourself…). Children activities reflect this education: Football for boys, dance for girls. That’s why Debbie laughs at Billy, since ballet suffers of this stereotype.
      However, and fortunately, it sounds like a cliché: everybody don’t obey this sexual segregation, which consist in establishing different social parts for men and for women.
As a result, a boy can absolutely performs a ballet, if he wants to. Tastes remain personal, and differ from one person to another. Besides, in all ballets there are masculine roles. Dancing companies are composed only by men. For example, Ballets Trockadero of Monte Carlo is a male company performing with very great talent the classical repertoire. On the other hand, men often play prestigious roles in these performances.
      Women have always wanted to be considered as competitive as men. Thus, in the thirties, woke up the female consciousness of a place to conquer. They claimed their need of being part of professional world. Therefore, why men should not be able to do the same as women use to ?
     In China, men dance for traditional operas, playing female roles.
Can you imagine art designed for only one sex ?    


Message édité par PHILOU035 le 29-11-2009 à 17:42:54
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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 07:48:40    

bouboux a écrit :

:) Bonjour à tous ! Merci de corriger mes erreurs s’il vous plait  
 
      Debbie laughs at Billy because she certainly thinks that, as he is a boy, he won’t be able to do it. She probably thinks it is about an activity for girls. Certain domains are that way victims of sexual stereotypes. Indeed, they affect especially our way of acting. It is from this point of view we try naturally to conform us to these stereotypes. Socialization as soon as the most young age is often originally of these clichés. For example, we are going more teach a young girl identify herself with her mother (housework…). The same is true for the young boy who compares himself to his father (do-it-yourself…). This education also has an effect on the activities. Football for boys, dance for girls. That’s why Debbie laughs at Billy, since ballet suffers of this stereotype.
      However, and fortunately, it is about clichés, and all people don’t obey this sexs’ separation, witch consist in establishing different social roles for men and for women.
As a result, a boy can absolutely  practises ballet, if he likes it. Tastes are personal, and vary from a person to another. Besides, in all ballets there are masculine roles. It exists even groups composed only by men. For example, Ballets Trockadero of Monte Carlo is a company only masculine witch appropriates with very great talent the classical repertoire. On the other hand, men often have prestigious roles in the performances.
      Women wanted to do what men did at the moment of the increased female participation in the employment, and they were right. Thus, in the thirties, woke up the female consciousness of a place to conquer. They claimed their integration in the job world. Consequently, why do men couldn’t do what women do ?
     In China, they are men who dance in the traditional operas, including female roles.
Can you imagine an art for an only one sex ? It is as if we say women are not able to sculpt (Camille Claudel is a counterexample).    


 
Bonjour,
 
Tu pourrais peut-être mettre la version française car il y a des phrases incompréhensibles.

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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 12:46:55    

PHILOU035
 
Debbie laughs at Billy while she thought, as a boy, he won’t be able to get through=
Debbie rit de Billy tandis qu'elle a pensé, comme un garçon, il ne sera pas capable de réussir
Pourquoi mettre un prétérit là où bouboux utilise à juste titre le présent simple et ta tournure est un peu gauche car "as a boy" se rapporte non pas à Billy mais à la fille!
 
She might think that it is a girl's typical hobbie
Là encore pourquoi ces prétérits
Elle pourrait penser que c'est un hobbie typique de filles.
 
Education determines
 
.............................

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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 13:37:23    

le niveau des phrases est pas clair, ensuite le niveau d'anglais utilisé est celui d'un élève de 3ème et encore ayant traduit péniblement mot à mot! :o je veux bien être sympa mais pas réécrire tout le texte non plus faut pas déconner!
 
relis le texte ça yen a veut dire en bon anglais francisé dans son texte:
"Debbie laughs at Billy because she certainly thinks that, as he is a boy, he won’t be able to do it" = "Debbie se moque de Billy parce qu'elle pense qu'en tant que garçon, il ne serait pas capable de le faire" ( :ouch: sic!) c'est l'idée que j'ai reformulée!
 
le preterit s'utilise pour signifier en ce sens la simultanéité des actions, elle pensait (en son for intérieur) qu'en tant que garçon , il ne serai  pas capable de le faire!

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Message édité par PHILOU035 le 30-11-2009 à 13:38:24
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Marsh Posté le 30-11-2009 à 16:26:04    

PHILOU035 a écrit :

le niveau des phrases est pas clair, ensuite le niveau d'anglais utilisé est celui d'un élève de 3ème et encore ayant traduit péniblement mot à mot! :o je veux bien être sympa mais pas réécrire tout le texte non plus faut pas déconner!
 
relis le texte ça yen a veut dire en bon anglais francisé dans son texte:
"Debbie laughs at Billy because she certainly thinks that, as he is a boy, he won’t be able to do it" = "Debbie se moque de Billy parce qu'elle pense qu'en tant que garçon, il ne serait pas capable de le faire" ( :ouch: sic!) c'est l'idée que j'ai reformulée!
 
le preterit s'utilise pour signifier en ce sens la simultanéité des actions, elle pensait (en son for intérieur) qu'en tant que garçon , il ne serai  pas capable de le faire!


 
won't= ne sera et non ne serait pas (wouldn't be)
Pour le reste,on est d'accord: comme ou en tant que garçon...???
Je suis comme toi et c'est la raison pour laquelle j'ai demandé la version française car ce n'est pas toujours compréhensible...

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